To tweet or not to blog

......THAT is the question.
I've got a twitter account; which means that my sudden bursts of creative genius can be quickly posted online. No longer do I have to sit and remember what my awesome sentences which had been rolling in my head while driving home were. I don't have to read through my crap and spot the typos and other necessary edits. Comments about my thoughts are easily seen and easily responded to. No more do I have to worry about length. I am limited to 140 characters. And my attention deficit is totally enabled. Never more do I have to see a rant through. My utter randomness is embraced. Thank you twitter!
But it's not the same. My writing suffers. I have not sat through and fully expressed a thought or an emotion in a minute. There are so many things I want out there. And not in short bursts of 2-3 sentences. But rather organised paragraphs. Each one with a main idea and a point I need to get across.
I also miss reading. Sitting in front of my laptop and reading a good post from one of my blogger fam. Reading through comments. Laughing. Identifying with other people.
Blogging and commenting on blogs presents opinions and ideas in a way twitter never can. With a blog you can elaborate (just like I'm doing now) whether in your piece or in the comments you leave on a post. Opposing ideas are better expressed with a blog.
Yes, twitter is awesome. My wit and sarcasm are having the time of their lives. As is my ratchety ghetto side. But my intellect suffers. A lot. Cuz ghetto Incoherent doesn't stay in her cage no mo'.
Ugh! There's another annoying thing about blogging: coming up with a title! And y'all know I need to be all clever and what not with. ...bleh I'm lazy. Take what you get.

Apology To My Fans

I am going through stuff now which has turned me into a whiny emo. I really truly suck at writing so I only get on here when I really can't shut up about something. Unfortunately, twitter is 140 characters and blogger is.....

so yeah, my usual crazy spews are in the wind. and all i do these days is post sad entries about how i just wanna be loved.

well you know what, you will all just have to deal with it! i have decided to wallow in my self pity and you will all wallow in it with me damn you!!

dear God I need cake.....*staggers off*

The Naija Weight Loss Plan (s)Tres(s)

aaaaargh!!! i'm still faaaaaaat!!!

OK, i'm exaggerating. I have lost some weight. I now fit into these skinny jeans, and my once skinny jeans (as of  JANUARY no less!) is now something I can take off without unbuttoning. Sadly that isn't enough. My Buddha belly is still jiggling. Although, at least now it jiggles. Used to be massive and rock hard. I would go days without pooping. Now that I've cut out bread (sweet, hot, soft, fresh bread *bites fist*), I do the morning doodoo like everyday. Honestly feels goods.

I haven't been hitting the gym everyday like before because of work, but I've added basketball to my repertoire. Played my first game today. I'm happy to say, I feel that sweet ache. It's not as awesome as after dojo back in the day, but my muscles definitely worked today!

Still need to make time for the gym though. My arms are horrible jiggly. I climbed a famous hill in my home town this past Thursday and the pictures I took were horrifying! I looked and whimpered "Are those really my arms? Nooooooooooo". You could barely see the awesome view behind me Damn you gelatinous arms.  *shakes fist. stares at upper arm in morbid fascination* Yeah, I can't live like this. Something must be done!

I've scheduled a basketball game for tomorrow morning. I have enough time to make aerobics class at 7 am then basketball at 9.

I walked away from a Cold Stone ice cream cake on Saturday.....only because I didn't have the money though. Treated myself to ice cream with Tobelerone crumbled into it today. Yeah....I'm placing the order for those cakes asap......

Doubt

He cheated. Well, not technically. No court of law would ever convict him. But it doesn't change the fact that what he did was wrong. He hurt me. He lied to me. No matter what I did, how I felt about him I just could not get past that.

Finally, he apologizes. After asking not to be labelled, put in a box, having his intentions "interpreted for him", straight up insisting he did nothing wrong.....he admits he was wrong. I accept the apology. I forgive him.

Or have I? He's said sorry. He's moved on. He's not with me. I should just let it all go shouldn't I? So why can't I? And it's not even the getting back together angle. I know I'm going to get over wanting him back. But, why is it that I would even consider it?

When significant others stray, how do their partners take them back? I'm not sure I would? I remember the bible, WWJD, and the whole 70 x 7 thing. But how in the world do you move past that? Not consider that fact in any and every decision you take?

He preferred her to me. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I became the side chick and she the main one. Maybe that's what hurts. So it's a pride thing. Ok. I can deal with that.....I think.

Gangster Squad

I'm not the mushy type. I don't do hugs, or any of that happiness crap. I am a gloomy person. Most of the time, my gadgets, music, books (and cake!!) are enough for me.
But sometimes, I like my friends. Yesterday was my day on the3six5ngproject. I talked about getting my nerd on with a fellow geek. Today, we went to watch Gangster Squad. Seeing as we went right after church, we were the only ones in the cinema. It was epic. We. Went. Nuts.
With no one around to judge us (or take incriminating pictures) we let loose. We screamed. Jumped around. Squealed. Finished cliche lines in loud voices. I found out today just how eerily alike we are. So much fun. Great day. Great day.
Hopefully she never reads this.....

The Naija Weightloss Plan: Part Dough

I am fat. There is no denying it. I hate people who try to reassure me that I'm okay. Although, I abhor those who agree when I say it. Lie to me damn you! The appropriate response is "oh you're not that fat luv". Learn it practise it. So those of you who not only agree but go even further to point out my smooth, round 3 months belle and chicken wing arms........A POX ON YE!
Fine, I am not as big now as I was two years ago. The Naija Weight Loss plan really worked! I was steadily losing weight, but recently reached a plateau and even started regaining weight at one point. Drastic action had to be taken.
First, I shut my eyes and joined a gym. I hate gyms. I hate running on a treadmill or riding a stationary bike. I mean seriously. a STATIONARY BIKE! Why would a sane person get on that and ride and go nowhere?! They don't even provide one of those moving scenery things so you feel like you're headed somewhere. Bleh. The place has personal trainers which means there's always someone making me do all this hard stuff. (and I really hate being told what to do). Those evil beings pass around increasing my treadmill pace just when I'm getting comfortable. I never have enough wind to cuss them out. And I'm too blinded by sweat to glare properly. Then the aerobics classes. Ugh! Grown ass people jumping around to music. 99 % of the women have never heard of a sports bra. Spandex reigning supreme. *dry heave* Yoga classes are the worst! You put me on a mat, play deadass music then expect me NOT to fall asleep? I mean! Come oon people! But despite all, I have persevered. I have perfected my routine and now I never (rarely, sometimes, not too many) miss a day. I do a 30 minute walk to the gym, stay for at least an hour and do the 30 minute walk back home. I do as much as possible not to cheat. It's been fun. I love the weight training. So much of cute butts and back to (myopically) stare at.
Then it turns out you need to eat to lose weight. Waiting too long between meals causes bloating. Who knew! Now seeing as I only eat once a day, it explains my massive pot. To remedy this, I'm setting 4 hour timers. Goes off 30 mins before time so I can go forage for food. Let's see how all of this pans out......
Next, I focused on my diet. Already, I never eat after 7 pm. Been on that for years now. hurts my tummy when I eat late anyway. I don't stick to it, but when I do, the awesome flatness of my tummy the next morning is so invigorating! Now, I've also cut down my sugar. I do mean my sugar. I'm the sort who sprinkles sugar on plantain before frying. (Caramelised dodo yummmmmmmm!) I've also reduced my salt intake. I am over cake now. And bread. And ice cream *sob sob* No, I'm not. Not really. I just discovered this lady who makes marvelous chessecake. And I've convinced several bros to buy me cake. I love cake. I really do..........
So I can't remember why I started  this post. It was supposed to be this really funny tirade on how perpetually hungry I am. And how all diets totally suck. Jeez! When did I become this boring?
Cake

Dear You

I want you in my life. I really really do. I don't even know why. You have been a fixture for just a little too long. Never have I ever felt this way. Never. Not this strong and certainly not this long. Even from great distances I hear you. I feel your thoughts. It's like you're here. With me. Or I'm there. With you. I ache for you. Thinking about you. The possibility of seeing you. Turns me giddy. A glimpse of you splits my mouth into the widest of grins. I love you. There, I said it. There is no other way to say. I can't see it being anything but that.

You're not perfect. Far from it. If I'd had to choose it would always have been the other. They have all I need. But you are all I want. You're all I want.

This is all in my head. You don't feel the same. You've said as much.

What Lies Beneath

Today, I saw this guy with someone else. I knew it was coming. I had an idea she existed but I guess I thought he would have the courtesy to tell me. Although, this is the person who chased me relentlessly for months and when I finally gave in, continued carrying on with all and sundry. And if course dumped me when the novelty of being with me wore off.

So yes, I'm bitter and angry. And I don't even know why. How long is one supposed to keep telling themselves it's the other and not you? It can't be them when in the space of months they're happy while you- the one nothing is supposed to be wrong with is utterly and completely alone.

I keep saying it doesn't matter. That I am happy alone. But really who am I kidding. There is something wrong. I do need to be fixed. Now I just have to get through my day without falling apart.

Irony. This very day last year I was crying because someone finally stopped lying to me. I'm starting to hate december.

In search of a blog theme

I've always wanted to have a themed blog. Rather than my incoherent ramblings, I would love to have a place where I air my coherent, organised thoughts on a specific topic. A friend had this cool travel blog where she talked about her travels as a doctor around Nigeria. All sorts of cool pictures and stuff are on there. This other dude has a shutterchance account. He's a professional photographer now. Good for him. Then there are the erotica peeps. The storytellers. And the angsty emo crew who bemoan their perpetual state of brokenheartedness. (*side eyes all Adele fans*). Oh! The joys of knowing what you want to blog about!


Me, I've toyed with various possibilities. A place where I discuss the current political debacle. You know, give my unsolicited and largely unhelpful opinion and advice about global policies. At other times, I want to focus on my love for science. I really do love science. Expound on current research. Talk about my trials in my quest for a PhD and a meaningful position in academia (yes, I am a nerd *hangs head). Then there was one time I wanted to share my pictures. I love taking them. And I need a place to show them off sometimes. But I'll wait til I get my Nikon D3200. I do love to travel. I could document my traipses across the globe. Or my love of food and cake and everything decadent and bad for me. That would surely be a treat. Currently, I'm going through men. No not like that. But I do seem to attract the oddest set of males. I'm 30 now and single and..... well, let's just leave it at that.

So that's the problem. I have so much I want to talk about. Plus there is the problem of having the time to follow up on all those accounts. I am by any and all standards lazy. I refuse to do no more than is absolutely necessary. Keeping up with one blog is hard enough work as it is. So yeah, I'll just stick to this one. I will continue to jump from topic to topic with no discernible concept running through them. And sadly, whoever you are reading this, you will just have to deal with it. Thank you for reading my blog. Feel free to leave a comment. :-)

Writers Block

I have so much to say. Even made a list of the topics I was going to expound on. unfortunately, I get on here, and i have nothing (absolutely nothing!!) to say. There are so many things I'd like to talk about; vent over; get off my chest........but i just can't do it! aaaargh!!!

Something's gotta give! These darn drafts need to get finished, edited and published! Where are my 100 monkeys to punch away at my keyboard?? After watching "Rise of The Planet of the Apes" (frigging awesome movie by the way), I have so much of faith in the lower species.......

Speaking of awesome, I read "Game of Thrones", SO good! I miss reading. I no longer have a bb so I have oh so much time on my hands now. I actually talk to people around me now. and I am reading voraciously again. I may never get back on bb if things keep going on this way! Especially seeing as being off the darn thing is helping me deal with some addictions that were threatening to get out of control.

Let's hope this post get's me rolling......