I woke up this morning ready to die...
I have been trying to write this post for years now. Trying to figure out the perfect, most eloquent way to discuss this. There is so much I want to discuss. Break things down. Pick up every little item and examine it from all angles.
And today, I am just done. I lost my phone. That's it. I have pulled through more than this, but I can no longer deal. I do not want to.
I thought about death, and none of my usual reasons for staying make any sense. And my usual anchor, my phone, it's gone. I really hope this works. I hope I fall asleep and be finally done.
I am so sorry I did this before your wedding, but I cannot do this anymore. Please be happy. And forgive me. Eventually. Take your time. Just do it for you, cuz I sure don't need it.
I promised you I would stay. And fight, But I can't. I really can't.
I started typing this for you. Cuz I never stop thinking about you. I almost sent you an email, but I didn''t want to deal with the aftermath of spilling my guts in case these pills don't work.
Wouldn't it be fucked up if I survive and I lose my hearing or some shit? Cuz I feel like I'm going deaf in my left ear already.
ugh
