1. I am never going to get married.
And I'm ok with it. The type of man I want is either already taken or .....well already taken. The type of changes that seem demanded of me to "find the one" are beyond what I am willing to give up. I like being a tomboy. I am comfortable in tees and blue jeans. I don't want to show off my legs; I hate skirts. Makeup is for the rare occasion. And no, I do not think being constantly on braids is a bad thing. Weaves are more trouble than they're worth.
Then there's the intelligence thing. I do not want to dumb down. I do not understand why I keep getting asked to. I do not want to "cater for my man". Is he a fucking child? I cannot cook, clean, support, and still look up to you plus pretend that I can't do all the stuff you do around the house better that you. I want an equal. A true equal. An equal in every sense of the word. I want to be respected, included in decisions, I want a partner not a head. I want to travel and have fun. The same way I'm supposed to give my man time with his friends I expect it too. You have a man cave. I want my personal space. I make the bed, you cook and wash the damn dishes. You set up the tv, I fix the washing machine. I pump, you feed the baby. But yeah, never gonna happen. Now that I know this, I need to plan for it. Because I refuse to be the typical old maid. No cats for me. Still thinking about how it's all gonna work. Get back to you on that...
2. My boyfriend days are far behind me
Even in my heydays, I was never a boyfriend person. Honestly, I just wanted to be left alone. The few people I dated just hounded me relentlessly til I gave in. No one does that anymore. Boys seem to wait on you these days. And I absolutely suck at showing or detecting emotion. So yeah. No boyfriends. Which of course ties in with the never getting married. How will I be proposed to if I can't even get someone to want to date me. Sigh
3. I will never have sex again.
This is the worst part. The absolute worst. No sex again. No making out. No marvelous foreplay. Not for lack of penis; those are a dime a dozen. Sadly however, I like my penis to come attached to a brain. Therein lies the problem. Plus, I prefer my penises to not be owned by other vaginas. Which narrows the pool even more. There aren't that many unattached intelligent blokes out there. I've been cheated on a lot so cheating on even a girlfriend is not for me. Karma sucks. And I would rather not have to deal with the crippling guilt after. So here I am. Spinster for life. No boyfriend. And celibate by proxy.
So I'm not sure where I was going with this. But this looks good so far. Let's stew over this and I'll be back later.
