Anonymous

"Why you gotta be anonymous?" Bobby Valentino

I have a blog. And I have a twitter account. Neither are generally advertised. Neither are ever associated with my real self. Sadly, some supposedly well meaning people do not get this. Yeah, I've heard my tweets are funny and interesting. Also heard that I'm a decent writer. Thanks. You want other people to see this too. Thanks. But do they also need my personal history? Do they need to my name, date of birth, and matriculation number?

Privacy is very important to me. My job requires a level of decorum. I need a place of peace and tranquility where I can spout any and all. Yes, most of what I blog and tweet about are stuff I will and do say as my real self. But not in the same way, not with the same rank honesty.

My life is stressful. Self-imposed granted, but stressful all the same. I need my outlet. That I chose to share this outlet with you does not mean it is now for the public. I don't want followers. I don't want notoriety. I'm not looking for hits or likes or retweets. I just want to live. And blog. And tweet. Anonymously.

But then again, this has just taught me that no one is to be trusted. If I didn't want people to know who I was, I shouldn't have ever mentioned the existence of this site or my twitter handle to anyone.

I miss the days when people weren't even sure if I was male or female....

Don't Mess With My

It tickles me to no end when I hear that someone's wife or girlfriend feels threatened by me. I mean, do you lack that much self confidence? You looked all over and decided that the most asexual female around your man was the biggest threat.

The first time it happened, I'm not gonna lie, I was deliriously flattered. After years of being written off as one of the guys, some (hot!) chick thought I was serious competition...ho-hem-gee! I told everyone! I became an instant celebrity. Girls suddenly started talking to me...well, I started talking to them. We finally had something we could bond over. My current crush started looking at me in a new light. It was just so much fun! Then it became annoying. Of course he's on the webcam with me for hours. How else is he going to help me take apart my laptop and put it all back right? We're going HIKING and no, it is NOT a euphemism. You don't like to break into a sweat, and I need to take this park off my bucket list. Sit the fuck down. Which eventually she did. Her man made it clear I wasn't going anywhere and insisted she get to know me. Now we're great friends. No seriously, we talk almost everyday. (I'm awesome like that.)

The next time it happened, it wasn't so funny. This was a nine year friendship. He introduced her as his new girl and kept at me til I made her my friend. I liked her. Thought she was smart and good for my friend. Took her like a sister. She was my baby. So when her now husband told me she was not "comfortable" with our friendship, I laughed it off. Until she made a scene. And another. Then I endured two of the most stressful months in a year I would like to have never occurred. It was too much and I cut her off.

In the middle of those stressful months, some other crazy female decided that I was macking on her crush. Her CRUSH. Seriously?

The point of all this? Everyone just needs to chill. If you have self esteem issues, then you do not need to be in or be wanting a relationship. Yes, in some cases your insecurities are justified.Like if he'd informed you that you were option #2 (true story). But even then, your business is NEVER with the other women. Focus on your man. And if someone is macking on your crush, he's your crush. Last I checked, a crush is open season. If he likes you, he won't look at her. If he does, then move the fuck on. He either prefers her or doesn't really care how you feel about him with other girls. And for heaven's sake, please one and all keep me out of your fucking drama. Thanks.