Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Take Me As I Am
the latest craze in town is to get incoherent a man. even guys are getting in on it. asking me about this guy or that. pointing out the good qualities of this dude or that one. there's one chick who has been threatening to create a profile for me on one of these online dating sites. now, i am even more guarded with my pictures than i used to be. sigh.
as if that weren't bad enough, i now get advice on how i can "fix" myself so i can get the man:
lose that stomach. dress better. wear makeup. show more cleavage. you're too bossy. need to tone it down. don't be so sarcastic. let the man be a man. must you be so geeky? no one cares about the wonders of the LHC. put down that popular mechanics; here, read a cosmo. why are you in this aisle drooling over that drill set?
why must it be that there is something wrong me? why can it not be that i am going through a me phase right now, and a man wouldn't fit in? what is wrong in expecting a man to want me for me? the tomboy dork who wants to change the world. i like museums and the opera and Broadway. i also like T.I and Eminem and Nas. I have partied 4 days straight getting only 6 hours of sleep in between. but i have also sat in the lab for the same 4 days on the same 6 hours of sleep.
my point is i don't want to change. i have room for improvement. we all do. but i don't want anyone who cannot be content with the me of right now. i don't want or ask my loved ones to change. if they change for the better in some way, thats cool. but i will love them even if they never change. do i not have the right to ask for the same acceptance of me in return?
so man, boyfriend, love, husband: if you actually exist (because i don't believe everyone is meant to be married or "with" someone), you better come willing to to me just as i am cuz i aint changing.....at least not until i am good and well ready to.
as if that weren't bad enough, i now get advice on how i can "fix" myself so i can get the man:
lose that stomach. dress better. wear makeup. show more cleavage. you're too bossy. need to tone it down. don't be so sarcastic. let the man be a man. must you be so geeky? no one cares about the wonders of the LHC. put down that popular mechanics; here, read a cosmo. why are you in this aisle drooling over that drill set?
why must it be that there is something wrong me? why can it not be that i am going through a me phase right now, and a man wouldn't fit in? what is wrong in expecting a man to want me for me? the tomboy dork who wants to change the world. i like museums and the opera and Broadway. i also like T.I and Eminem and Nas. I have partied 4 days straight getting only 6 hours of sleep in between. but i have also sat in the lab for the same 4 days on the same 6 hours of sleep.
my point is i don't want to change. i have room for improvement. we all do. but i don't want anyone who cannot be content with the me of right now. i don't want or ask my loved ones to change. if they change for the better in some way, thats cool. but i will love them even if they never change. do i not have the right to ask for the same acceptance of me in return?
so man, boyfriend, love, husband: if you actually exist (because i don't believe everyone is meant to be married or "with" someone), you better come willing to to me just as i am cuz i aint changing.....at least not until i am good and well ready to.
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