I Am A Slut

Ok. I lied. That was not the post that actually got published. Our editor wanted a little more back story. She also changed the title. The back story she ended p getting out of me was inserted just before the last paragraph. Years later, I still hate it.

Trying to explain how I got this way is hard. I started out a good Catholic girl. Who grew up in a society where sex was the norm. Girls getting pregnant was slightly more commonplace than girls graduating high school. My high school -the best in that region, and also an all girls, did what they could to keep us focused. Sex was a no- no, but we were taught all the precautionary methods. "Everything but" was acceptable. Honestly, no one cared what you were doing so long as you did not get pregnant or catch AIDS and have to drop out of school and fuck up your future. Then I moved to an uber conservative society. The culture shock, the drastic change in the definition of slut, was a lot for a young girl to take. I stayed a virgin, refusing to party or date, just so I had something to throw back at the idiots who had drawn conclusions about who I was by my attitude and (lack of?) boundaries. (Those years can be blamed for my current aversion to being touched.) It did not help that when I finally decided to give it up, it was to a manipulative abuser. My second partner was basically my sex therapist. Demystifying sex with him is still the best sex I have (currently) ever had while also teaching me to love and own all of me. Moving back to my liberal society also helped. A lot! Returning to old beliefs helped reconcile so much. I had to learn (and still working on it) to mesh all I had picked up both consciously and unconsciously over the years.

PS: I have since had much better sex than le ex...